Sunday, October 12, 2008

BE A WINNER, NOT A WHINER.

Blog number 227 12 October 2008

A couple of years ago I got an epiphany while listening to two radio talk show hosts. These two had a program that was pretty funny, so I thought of them as humorous people. That is until they got to talking about the 100 funniest movies.

One of them declared that he thought "Singing In the Rain" was not only one of the top hundred funniest movies, but the top number one funniest movie of all time! His CO-host agreed with him.

It was then that I realized that not everyone looked at the universe in the same way. I thought if something was funny, it was funny. If someone didn't think it was funny, then that person had no sense of humor. That's what I thought.

Apropos to this, I heard a funny joke on a television program called, "The History of Jokes." I'll tell the joke later.

I first told it to my youngest son, Derek, and I laughed before he did, but he laughed. Then I next told it to my second oldest son, Kavi, and he said, "That's not funny." Then I told it to Maryanne and she looked at me like I was nuts. Yesterday I told it to my granddaughter, Tara, and she burst out laughing right away.

I realize now that I can use that joke to kind of scientifically investigate the "joke focus" of different people. Since people are patterns of patterns, I can then use this information to predict the future behavior of individuals and then I can offer this information to Homeland Security and make a lot of money. Then I can use that money to buy an airplane and flying instructions, hire a cook, a butler and a cleaning woman, build a new house with a huge kitchen with lots of copper pans hanging from the ceiling, a workout room with a live-in personal trainer, and a gardener to care for my extensive flower and vegetable garden.

I'll move to New York across from Central Park. My garden will be on the roof of my condo.

Ah, life is good when you make good plans.

This is the joke I will use to make my fortune:

A priest, a rabbi and a whale went into a bar.

The priest said, "I believe Jesus is the messiah, so I'll have sacramental wine."

The rabbi said, "I believe the messiah hasn't come yet, so I'll have Manischewitz wine."

The whale said, (and here you make a "eeeeeee" sound like a whale singing.)

It's funny. Trust me.

7 comments:

Paul Higginbotham said...

Don, I have been doing EXACTLY that with jokes for decades. I know of which you speak. However, I did not get the joke! I do not how the whale's eeeee sound relates to the bar.

Don Reynolds said...

Hi Paul!

The way the joke goes is, the priest and rabbi speak about the wine they want because of the messiah or not messiah. So you are expectng the whale to say something about that, but the whale speaks as whales do instead, with a whistling sound.

It is the sudden unexpected shock that creates the laugh.

The joke is "dumb." Like puns or those old "elephant in a tree" jokes.

Chris said...

I get it! It took me a couple of seconds but it's very funny. When you conquer the world with this joke, I hope you use it in war zones, as in "they died laughing" - do you remember the Monty Python sketch?

Zipadee said...

Still not funny. There is a similar joke I've heard, it has an annoying or obnoxious cow that Moooos!! at the end. Erinn told me when she was little. That one wasn't funny either.

MaryAnne

Zipadee said...

I do like your plan, though!

Don Reynolds said...

Hi Chris!

That joke is way funny, strangely, yes? It kinds comes at you sideways.

I remember that Monty Python sketch, yes. Funny people, those guys.

Be good. Work hard. Keep America strong, Chris.

Don Reynolds said...

Hah! Maryanne! Nee Zipadee.

Is too,funny!

The "Moo" joke - does it involve advice to a farmer on how to have sexual relations with a woman?